Rain Pouring on Cloud #9

October 12, 2009 acb0007

My best and worst break up are actually the same relationship. I dated a guy from my hometown all the way through high school. I met Chris my seventh grade year, which is when high school began in the small town of Hackleburg, Alabama. We began dating fall of that year and dated most all of five years. I ended the relationship in August of my senior year. Why? In the spring of my junior year, Chris left our small town to go work up North on the pipelines. He was only supposed to have been gone about 6 weeks but that turned into more and more as the time went on. While he was gone I had all his bills set up to come to my house where I simply would handle the payments for him, which worked well at first, then he decided that he wanted to start spending his money elsewhere. Well what is wrong with him spending his money? Nothing, if he ws spending it on legal things. I found out after he had been gone for about two and a half months that he had started taking drugs, but i only found this out after I discovered he was cheating on me!! I was devastated! Not only was he “the love of my life” but also I knew he was slowly killing himself and he didnt even realize it. He kept sayinghe didnt have a problem and that he could quit whenever he wanted to. I tried to help him and when he came home, I even snuck around to see him, but I woke up and realized that if I stayed with him, I would be doing nothing but hurting myself. I officially ended things with him, but he will not quit. He still calls and texts me all the time. I had a missed call from him last night, actually. I keep thinking that one day he will give up but it has been over a year now, and he is still hanging in there. I guess that is what drugs will do to you; i seriously think he believes that we are still together.  Ok, so how can this be the best and worst break-up? It is the best because I know how much I would have been giving up if I would not have called it quits with Chris. It took time for me to realize it, but now that I have had time to get over him, I can truly see that I am better without him. It is the worst because I was miserable. Not only did he rip away my trust, but he also developed a problem that is serious and he denies it. I just know that one day I am going to get a phone call telling me that someone has found him and that he had an overdose. This still kills  me to think about, but all I can do is pray that somehow God will reach him and he will change. It would never result in us getting back together, but I would love to know that he straightened up his life and could someday have a family and a life.

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